elrhiarhodan

Title: (Top-Secret) Santa

Author: elrhiarhodan / elrhiarhodan / elrhiarhodan
Fandom: Kingsman
Rating: PG-13 (for excessive use of the word "fuck" in all its forms)
Characters/Pairings: Eggsy Unwin, Harry Hart, Merlin, Roxy Morton, Percival
Word Count: ~7200
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Summary: Eggsy returns from a long holiday in New Zealand, visiting with his mum and Daisy, when he gets a top-level secure message to report to Sublevel Twelve, Room Twenty-Five at HQ. Despite the lack of sleep and horrific jet lag, Eggsy has no choice but to comply. Harry meets him at the lifts and takes him to a very special room where some very special Kingsman work is done.

Author’s Note: Written for the 2018 Kingsman Stocking Stuffer event, for Anarchycox, for her prompt "Merlin running the most terrifyingly organized secret santa event ever, like everyone is sure that they will die if they spill who they have or break the rules, but his people will have a magical christmas surprise or else." This was a great jumping off point for something that went quite a bit differently, but I hope they enjoy it.

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On AO3: (Top-Secret) Santa

Title: When Tomorrow Comes - The Secret History of Neal Caffrey - Chapter Two of Three
Author: elrhiarhodan / elrhiarhodan / elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar, Kingsman (Movies)
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Neal Caffrey, Merlin, Eggsy Unwin, Roxy Morton, Other Kingsman Characters
Word Count: ~3900 (this chapters)
Spoilers: Spoilers for Season 6 of White Collar, Not Canon Compliant with Kingsman - The Golden Circle
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Summary: Picking up immediately after Simply Irresistible, Merlin has everyone dancing through hoops, Neal gets an unpleasant surprise at the shop, and Eggsy's not so thrilled, either. Roxanne is as awesome as always. But at the end of the day, Neal Caffrey is going to be Tristan, and that's all that matters, right?

Chapter Summary: Eggsy and Roxy finally get to meet Neal Caffrey, soon-to-be Agent Tristan. It does not go well. Merlin, however, is having far too good of a time.

Author’s Note: My apologies for taking so long to get this story out of my head and onto the page. I really didn't expect it to take thirteen months to write this, but 2018 has been a truly terrible year for me and I'm glad it's coming to an end.

The story is complete but lengthy (these fics just get longer and longer), so it's posting in chapters. And while I've tried to reference as much of the previous stories in the series, it will probably make more sense if you've read them all, especially A Seat at the Table and Simply Irresistible.

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When Tomorrow Comes - The Secret History of Neal Caffrey, Part 9 - Chapter Two

Title: I'm Not Shooting the Dog - The Secret History of Neal Caffrey, Part One
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar, Kingsman: The Secret Service
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Neal Caffrey, Merlin (Kingsman), brief appearance by Arthur | Chester King
Word Count: ~1000
Spoilers: None for White Collar (set pre-series), Spoilers for Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Beta Credit: None
Summary: Neal Caffrey has some incredibly amazing and diverse skills, skills that not even the most dedicated autodidact could master. He's poly-lingual (nine or more languages), an Olympic-class fencer, his marksmanship is exceptional - especially for a man who hates guns. He's a world-class chef, a master distiller, an architect, a gambler, a connoisseur of fine wines and clothing and music. There is literally nothing he can't do, no situation he can't master, no risk he won't take.

Mozzie might have given him the basics on how to be the frontman for the cons he'd wanted to pull, but Neal's skills had been polished and his talents nurtured on an estate outside of London. For six months, Neal Caffrey had been a knight-candidate at Kingsman, an independent intelligence agency founded after World War I.

Author’s Note: Okay, so about three weeks ago, I finally watched Kingsman: The Secret Service, and fell headlong into the trashpit. It's stirred up so many feeeeelllsss and it seems that all I'm doing is reading Kingsman fic and thinking about Kingsman, and watching the trailer over and over an over again. Because, well Colin Firth and Mark Strong (guh).

And I started doing what I always do when I encounter a new fandom, I start thinking about how I can cross it over with my old fandoms (yes, I have at least three White Collar/Flash crossovers in my WIPs folder). First was an idea for a crossover with a Flash AU I've been writing for the last nine months, but that's not able to really go anywhere right now, since the main story is still far from finished.

Then I got to thinking about White Collar, and all of the pieces fell into place.

I usually have a rule about not publishing unfinished stories, but since I'm actually not certain where this is going, or how long it'll take me to write (even my shortest stories seem to go epic lately), I'll be publishing these as short(ish), stand-alone fics as the mood strikes. If you have ideas for where this should go, please leave me something in the comments.

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( Despite six months of extensive training, despite a never-quite-forgotten desire to follow in his father's footsteps, despite near-perfect marksmanship scores, Neal Caffrey still doesn't like guns. )

Title: The Bennett Family Legacy In: Family Traditions (GFSP XI)
Author: elrhiarhodan
Written For: Round Five of runthecon
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: G
Characters: Neal Caffrey, Peter Burke
Spoilers: Caps from 3.15 – Stealing Home
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Seriously, you’re worried about warnings? It’s the Giant Floating Stone Penis!
Type: Comic/Picspam - 8 pages/15 panels
Summary: Peter and Neal discuss - what else - family traditions.

Many, many thanks to the generous kanarek13 for the exquisite screen caps.

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( The Bennett Family Legacy In: Family Traditions )

Title: You Don't Know Where Your Interest Lies
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: The Flash (2014)
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Barry Allen, Julian Albert, David Singh, Joe West, Cisco Ramon, Mention of Earth-2 Harrison Wells, Jesse Wells, Caitlin Snow, Iris West, Wally West, Eobard Thawne
Word Count: ~6000
Spoilers: All of Season Three, up to episode 3.03 - Magenta
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Summary: Julian Albert breaks about a dozen really big rules when he confronts Frankie Kane in the CCPD lobby and David Singh is almost ready to fire him. But he gives him a second chance - and Julian ends up on probation, reporting to Barry Allen. Something that he finds absolutely and utterly intolerable.

Or, Five Times Julian Albert's Humiliated Because of Barry Allen, and one time ... well, one time humiliation doesn't factor into it.

Or, a character study of Barry Allen, from the eyes of Julian Albert.

AUTHOR NOTES: There's a lot of murkiness about the timeline now. Supposedly Julian's been at the CCPD a year, but I have the feeling that more time has passed than just the few hours between Barry leaving Iris on the front porch and Eobard returning Barry to the "present". I'm probably wrong, but hey - this is what you get when you're writing in a fandom that plays fast and loose with time.

Also, as much as I love Julian, I have the feeling that he's pretty self-absorbed and completely uninterested in anyone else's life. He don't care about Barry until he finds that Barry's not who he's supposed to be.

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( Julian is on his way out to lunch and looking forward to a few minutes of life without listening to Barry Allen natter away like the moron he is. But he doesn't make it out of the CCPD lobby - half of which is roped off as workers struggle to reinstall the bronze frieze that came down, courtesy of the meta-human, Magenta - when he's diverted by none other than Captain Singh. )

Title: Like a Line in the Sand
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: The Flash
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Joe West, Harrison Wells (Earth-2)
Spoilers: S2.06 – Enter Zoom
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Graphic mention of violent child death
Word Count: ~1300
Beta Credit: None
Summary: An episode tag to the end of Enter Zoom. Joe has a much needed conversation with Harrison Wells about a good parent's responsibilities to their children.

A/N: Inspired by Wells' monologue at the end of S2.011, Potential Energy (but no spoilers), my first attempts at writing both Joe West and Earth-2 Harrison Wells.

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(  Joe doesn't hate many people. Hate is a bad thing for a cop – it leads to mistakes, often fatal ones. He might hate what some people do, but hating the person who did them is rare. )

Title: A Forever Kind of Family - Masterpost
Author: elrhiarhodan
Artist: eldorah
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Neal Caffrey, Peter Burke, Elizabeth Burke, Diana Berrigan, Clinton Jones, Reese Hughes, Kyle Bancroft, Original Male Characters, Original Female Characters; Peter/Elizabeth
Word Count: ~16,500
Spoilers: All of Season 6, Especially Au Revoir
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Brief scene of animal neglect
Beta Credit: sinfulslasher
Summary: The year between his "death" and the final sentencing of the Pink Panthers brought a lot of changes in Neal's life, and in Peter's, too. Families are made - by birth and by choice - and both men learn that the bonds of friendship can never really be broken.

Author’s Note: Written as a pinch hit for eldorah's artwork for Round 2 of the wc_reverse_bb. Please leave feedback for her awesome art here, at her journal.

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Part One
Part Two
Part Three

Art Post

Title: A Forever Kind of Family - Part Two of Three
Author: elrhiarhodan
Artist: eldorah
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Neal Caffrey, Peter Burke, Elizabeth Burke, Diana Berrigan, Clinton Jones, Reese Hughes, Kyle Bancroft, Original Male Characters, Original Female Characters; Peter/Elizabeth
Word Count: ~16,500
Spoilers: All of Season 6, Especially Au Revoir
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Brief scene of animal neglect
Beta Credit: sinfulslasher
Summary: The year between his "death" and the final sentencing of the Pink Panthers brought a lot of changes in Neal's life, and in Peter's, too. Families are made - by birth and by choice - and both men learn that the bonds of friendship can never really be broken.

Author’s Note: Written as a pinch hit for eldorah's artwork for Round 2 of the wc_reverse_bb.

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( It had felt strange to leave the dogs behind, but he had an appointment with the trustees at the Louvre. He was presenting the first iteration of the new security system – and while he'd often brought Peter and Diana with him on his consultations, today wouldn't have been a good day to show up with the dogs. )

Title: Head Canon and Ficlets for White Collar Characters
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: G – NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Neal Caffrey, Peter Burke, Elizabeth Burke, Mozzie, June Ellington, Diana Berrigan, Lauren Cruz, David Siegel, Curtis Hagen, Matthew Keller, Garrett Fowler, Alex Hunter, Sara Ellis, Satchmo, Bugsy
Spoilers: Spoilers for all aired episodes, up to S6.05
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Canon death of canon character, violence, eating disorder, child abuse
Word Count: ~6000
Beta Credit: None
Summary: The Urban Dictionary defined "head canon" as idea or opinion about a fictional series (Book, TV, Comic, or otherwise) that is true in one's head, but has not become a canon fact.

A few weeks ago, in an attempt to fight off both a cold and the blahs, I ask friend to pick a White Collar character and I'd give them my head canon for that character, plus a tiny ficlet.

Please note, there are spoilers in these ficlets for all aired episodes (up to S6.05). Also, please pay attention to the chapter titles - there are warnings therein.

On AO3
The original LJ entry

Title: One Foot In the Graveyard – The Living In the Past Remix
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Neal Caffrey, Matthew Keller, mention of Peter Burke
Spoilers: None, Pre-Series
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Word Count: ~3000
Beta Credit: sinfulslasher
Summary: Once upon a time, Neal makes a drunken bet with Matthew Keller – to spend a day and a night with the dead.

A/N: Written for Remix Redux 11: The Eleventh Hour – Remixing Lost by slytheringurrl.

Title from Jethro Tull’s classic, “Doctor Bogenbroom.”

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(  Once upon a time, on a hot summer night in Paris when he’s young and stupid and thinks he’s immortal, Neal accepts a dare from Matthew Keller. They’ve already gone through two bottles of absinthe and Matthew has just opened a third.  )

Title: The Illusion of Control
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Neal Caffrey
Word Count: ~1100
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Extreme angst. Food issues, non-sexual consent issues, psychological issues, prison fic, Author chooses not to provide additional warnings. Please see entry tags for additional information.
Beta Credit: miri_thompson
Summary: Neal is sent back to prison for the rest of his life, and he finds the one thing he can control in his highly regimented life.

Author’s Note: Written for the “Hunger/Starvation” square for my Hurt/Comfort Bingo Card.

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( The reality of prison is simple. You have no power over anything. It's more than being confined, it's about being controlled. )

Title: The Circumstance of You and Me – Prequel to Nothing Will Remain - Part One of Two
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Peter Burke, Elizabeth Burke, nee Mitchell, Reese Hughes, Neal Caffrey, Original Female Characters, Original Male Characters, Peter – Elizabeth friendship, Elizabeth – Neal friendship
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: References to the events of 9/11 in New York City, reference to the death of a non-canon character.
Word Count: ~14,000 total
Beta Credit: miri_thompson, coffeethyme4me
Summary: In the near-canon A/U, Nothing Will Remain, Peter and Elizabeth had been divorced for years, but remained very close friends. This is the story of how they met, forged an unbreakable bond, and why, when Peter is gay and is not in the closet, they got married. This story can stand alone, but the experience will be richer if you’ve read the other fic.

A/N: Written for the 2013 White Collar Hurt/Comfort Advent over at whitecollarhc. And I guess it's now official (if it wasn't apparent before) that there is a "Nothing Will Remain 'verse". When you write 30k for two stories in less than three weeks, it's pretty clear that there's a 'verse in the works.

Title from Oysterband's "Only When You Call."

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(  “Burke, my office.” Hughes, the new ASAC for the White Collar division, gave him the double finger point summons, an unnecessary accompaniment to his terse order. Peter jumped up, grabbed his notebook and all but ran up to the conference room. He didn’t think anything was wrong, but he was still feeling his way with this legendary agent.  )

Title: Kinship Analysis
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Reese Hughes
Spoilers: S4.06 - Identity Crisis, S4.12 – Brass Tacks
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Word Count: ~1200
Beta Credit: jrosemary
Summary: With nothing else to do, Reese Hughes decides to solve a mystery in his own past.

A/N: Written for the Adoption square on my Love Bingo Card. My dear friend, kanarek13 created cover art for this story for fandom_stocking 2013. It’s under the cut.

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( Retirement doesn’t suit Reese Hughes.  )

Title: Summer Colds are the Worst - A Snugglicious Fic
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Tim DeKay, Matt Bomer (as fictional characters)
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: So much unremitting schmoopy fluff that you just might get massive cavities. And since this is RPF, you know you're going to hell.
Word Count: ~800
Beta Credit: None
Summary: Matty miserable - he has a bad very cold. His good buddy, Tim, comes to the rescue.

Author's Note: I wrote this ages ago, for coffeethyme4me. She had a bad summer cold and needed some comforting of the RPF variety. I thought it too schmoopy to post, but with the release of the iSnuggles vid, how could I hold back?

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( Matt pressed the end call button on his phone, disconnecting from Simon. He wasn't going to head back to California this weekend, he was too damn sick. )

Title: In the Stillness of Remembering
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Neal Caffrey, Mozzie, mention of Kate Moreau
Spoilers: S4.01 - Wanted
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Word Count: ~1000
Beta Credit: coffeethyme4me
Summary: Mozzie’s dreams have a way of intruding on Neal’s reality.

A/N: Written for florastuart for Day Five of Fic-Can-Ukah, for the prompt Nearing Midnight, Neal, Mozzie. Title from Fleetwood Mac’s classic, Dreams

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( At Mozzie’s idle comment, Neal looked up from the painting he’s working on. It was one of his favorites, the water lilies at Giverny, a painting he’d done quite a few times under various circumstances. )

Title: More, Please
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Neal Caffrey, with appearances by everyone else.
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Food, glorious food!
Word Count: ~800
Summary: Neal has a very practical avocation, and for his week off, he’s going to indulge himself unreservedly. Everyone else gains at least five pounds.

Title and warning from the classic musical, Oliver!

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(  He liked to cook, perhaps even more than he liked to paint. Painting was always fraught with tension - creating versus copying. The objective versus the subjective. Modern interpretation or classical execution.  )

Title: Even the Stars Are Not Safe in Heaven - Part II
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar; L&O: SVU
Rating: R (for off-camera violence)
Characters/Pairings: Peter Burke, Elizabeth Burke, Peter/Elizabeth, Neal Caffrey. Also, Detective Olivia Benson, Detective John Munch
Spoilers: S3.10 – Countdown
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Off camera rape and assault, allusion to prior rape and assault. Physical and emotional hurt/comfort. Gen/Friendship, reconciliation.
Word Count: ~21,000 (Complete). This part: ~4600. Part I was published on Monday, December 5, and Part III (the conclusion) will be published Wednesday, December 7.
Summary: In the two years following Elizabeth Burke’s kidnapping and her safe recovery, Peter has cut Neal out of his life, unwilling to forgive his part in Elizabeth’s trauma or the betrayal of their own partnership. The story begins with Neal’s successful completion of his work-release, and he says goodbye. It is a moment of finality. But time passes, some wounds heal and tragedy brings them back together.

(  His world was reduced to a dark tunnel, and something was chasing him. No – not a tunnel, a maze. He tried to find his way out but the beast was always behind him, just a few steps from tearing him apart. )

Title: Hidden, But Not Lost
Author: elrhiarhodan
Rating: R
Fandom: White Collar
Characters/Pairings The Taurus
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Word Count: ~800
Summary: What lies hidden and doesn't necessarily want to be found.

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(  Even though Peter takes pretty good care of his ride, here are many strange and wonderful and not so wonderful things hidden away in the Taurus. )

Title: A Knight on Horseback
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: G
Characters: Peter Burke (wee)
Spoilers: Inspired by Burke’s Seven, but no plot spoilers
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Word Count: ~ 400
Summary: Young Peter dreams of defending the weak and wielding a sword of justice. From the back of a horse.

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(  When Peter Burke was growing up, his heroes weren't The Lone Ranger or any of the other dudes in the westerns that littered early evening television. )

Title: You Still Need a Good Pair of Shoes To Get Anywhere In This Town
Author: elrhiarhodan
Rating:PG
Fandom: White Collar
Characters/Pairings: June, Neal
Episode References/Spoilers: Pilot
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Word Count: ~400
Summary: Byron had small feet.

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( That suit looks almost better on you than it did on Byron )

Title: No Long Delivery Time
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: Gen/Friendship
Characters: Neal Caffrey, Mozzie
Spoilers/Episode References: Minor hint from 2.04 (By The Book)
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Food
Word Count: ~ 500
Summary: The boys have a problem deciding what to have for dinner. Of course, neither of them wants to cook. And don’t blame me if you get hungry.

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( Why do I always have to be the one to pick? )

Title: A Woman of Principles
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Alex Hunter
Spoilers: 2.03 (Copycat Caffrey)
Warnings/Triggers: None
Word Count: ~1200
Summary: There are some things that Alex Hunter won’t handle.

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( People who know people who know people know that Alex Hunter can you get things, and can get you money for the things you need to get rid of. )

Another ficlet from the Promptfest IV Masterlist - Diana - Hunt. Not cracky, but it fits my mood. Enjoy!

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( I thought I made it clear – we don’t talk. We don’t chat, we have nothing to do with each other outside of the context of an assigned case. We aren’t friends and we’re barely co-workers. You don’t ask me for anything, not even the time of day. Got that? )

Another drabble fill from the Promptfest IV Masterlist.  It's been done before, I know - but this was a tough one to fill: Neal - Cogent:

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Neal has never felt that his lack of a formal education was a detriment to any of his chosen careers (con artist, forger, thief, bakery owner, professional poker and backgammon player) or even the ones foisted upon him (confidental informant, FBI consultant). He is highly self-educated in subjects ranging from Japanese diplomatic history to Renaissance art to the modern political history of Myanmar/Burma, he is fluent in several dead and living languages, and can perform complex mathematical calculations in his head. In short, Neal knows what he needs to know, and if he ever needs to learn something, he does. Having some letters and a fancy Latin title behind his name is meaningless.

Peter, on the other hand, worries about Neal’s incomplete education. It’s not that he thinks any less of Neal because he didn’t graduate high school or that he doesn’t have a college degree. In fact, his admiration for Neal and for his intelligence increases when he realizes what an accomplished autodidact he is. There are very few subjects that Neal can’t speak to with anything less than perfect expertise. But still, it bothers him.

With so many other things going on, the issue of Neal’s lack formal educational credentials gets pushed deep into the back of the refrigerator, and it is many months before they actually sit down and talk about it. Peter, blunt instrument that he can be sometimes, simply asks Neal why he never got his high school diploma.

Neal blinks – he wasn’t expecting this.

“What does that have to do with anything, Peter?”

“It bothers me.”

“Why?”

“Because it does. You are the smartest person I know, and somehow it doesn’t seem right that you never graduated high school.”

“Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard.”

“But he has a high school diploma.”

“I somehow don’t feel the lack. Never have, I expect I never will. Peter, I just don’t get why you are taking this so personally.”

Peter sits there and fumes. Not at Neal, but at himself. He can’t really form a cogent argument to support his position. And he knows that a GED is not going to make much of a difference in Neal’s life.

Neal watches his friend, his partner through narrowed eyes. “Peter, if it will make you happier – I got my GED when I was in prison. Which is, if you want to split hairs, not the same as a high school diploma. I believe the ‘E’ in GED stands for ‘Equivalency’.”

Peter doesn’t comment. He just glares at Neal, feeling a little bit like a fool.

Neal figures he’s got about a week before Peter starts harping on him about a college degree.

Title: The Sounds of the City (sifting through trees)
Author: elrhiarhodan
Rating: G
Fandom: White Collar
Characters/Pairings:  Mozzie & Neal Caffrey (gen - friendship)
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Word Count: ~ 700
Summary: Mozzie lets Neal write the story of how they met, but he knows the truth.

Written for Promptfest IV, for photoash  for her prompt, Mozzie – Neal – How They Met. This references Promote the General Welfare, another Mozzie story from my Paladin ‘verse. Title is from the Simon and Garfunkel classic, “Old Friends.”

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( There are many versions of how Neal and Mozzie met, depending on the time of day and the type of wine, and when Neal is the one telling the tale. )