elrhiarhodan: (MC - I Touch Myself)
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Title: Regrets On An Alien Shore
For: MMOM - Thirty (One) Dirty Words 2012 - Prompt 001 - Weehawken
Author: [livejournal.com profile] elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: NC-17
Characters: Peter Burke, (Peter/Neal)
Spoilers/Episode References: S3.03 – Deadline, S3.16 – Judgment Day
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Word Count: 300 Exactly
Summary: Peter can’t sleep, and occasionally finds himself across the Hudson, in New Jersey.

A/N: My bestie, [livejournal.com profile] coffeethyme4me prompted me for Weehawken. Just because. And Weehawken is the place that photographers love – it provides a perfectly unobstructed view of the West Side of Manhattan.



__________________



He’s taken to driving around New York when he can’t sleep, which are most nights now. He hates leaving their bed, but he can’t stay beside El when this pain, this guilt consumes him.

It isn’t becaue he wants Neal. Elizabeth understands that. She shares the desire, too. It is that everything that happened is his fault. If he hadn’t brought in Kramer in the first place…

The demons drive Peter out of bed, so he drives himself. Some nights he circles the block, some nights he finds himself on the other side of the City, parked in front of June’s. He can see the light on upstairs, her silhouette as she haunts the vacant space.

And sometimes, Peter ends up on a different shore. Jersey is a strange and alien place, but there is a spot people gather to watch the setting sun gild the City with its magic light. In the small hours of the morning, it’s bereft of people, a perfect place just to sit and not think.

He can’t help himself, his fingers drifted across his groin, and he palms his cock through his fly. Not so much stroking but a gentle squeeze, imagining what Neal’s hands would feel like, what he’d do to his body. What he’d allow Peter to do to him.

They had been so close. He is sure that the parole board was going to grant Neal’s commutation. They would have celebrated with cake and sex. Finally, after two years of lust and longing, they’d have consummation. But Kramer and his vendetta made that impossible.

So Peter parks in this lonely spot, touches himself and thinks about everything he’s lost. He touches himself and worries about Neal, worries that he’ll never have Neal back. That he’ll never have the chance to touch Neal again.

FIN

Date: 2012-05-01 04:33 pm (UTC)
leonie_alastair: B/W Avedon captures a model w/umbrella in midair leaping over a puddle (Default)
From: [personal profile] leonie_alastair
You have some lovely images in this piece. But I think you've created a new category: Masturbation angst!

Separately I found the title very funny. I've spent a fair amount of time watching the sun set (or rise) over midtown from Hamilton Park. It's also a great place to take out of town visitors.

Date: 2012-05-01 12:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rabidchild67.livejournal.com
Aching and beautiful. Also: New Jersey, laaaa... :D

Date: 2012-05-01 01:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sonia6349.livejournal.com
Stop it. Shattered :'(

Date: 2012-05-01 01:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elainasaunt.livejournal.com
Waaaaah! How beautifully sad.

Date: 2012-05-01 02:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gnomi.livejournal.com
Oh, poor Peter! So much guilt. This was gorgeous.

Date: 2012-05-01 03:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] car8.livejournal.com
Hi-I'm kind of new here,and still working my way through your stories (although it's too pleasurable to be called work). I really like this one, you say so much in so few words.Thanks!

Date: 2012-05-01 07:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lauracollared.livejournal.com
Oh man.... *sniff*
Pull my heart out, why don't you?!

Date: 2012-05-01 11:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jrosemary.livejournal.com
Oh no--so much seems out of Peter's grasp! But I love the idea of him thinking of the commutation as a chance for he and Neal to start a new phase of their relationship. (And I have to think that they will find their way to that new phase, whatever happens . . .)

Date: 2012-05-01 11:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladyrose42.livejournal.com
Love the way you pull June in the story with her touch of sadness as well.

Date: 2012-05-02 01:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] robingal1.livejournal.com
*sniffle*
how?!!? How did you manage depressing AND smut?
Woman, you are amazing!

Date: 2012-05-02 02:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] secretsolitaire.livejournal.com
Oh, Peter. *sniff*

Date: 2012-05-02 04:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tjs-whatnot.livejournal.com
So much said, so very much felt, so very, very few words.

*is marveled*

Date: 2012-05-03 05:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] karaokegal.livejournal.com
Good angst! And YAY for Jersey. (Fair Lawn girl here.)

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